When a parent dies, grief arrives alongside a long list of tasks, and many of them can't wait. This checklist walks through what usually needs to happen in the first days, the first weeks and the months after, so you can focus on one step at a time. Every family and every state is different. Treat this as a general guide, and lean on the funeral home, an attorney and your parent's financial professionals for the details.
In the first day or two
- Get a legal pronouncement of death. In a hospital or hospice this happens there. At home without hospice, call 911 or your local non-emergency line.
- Notify close family and friends. Ask one or two people to help spread the word so it isn't all on you.
- Look for any written wishes about burial, cremation, organ donation or a service, and any prepaid funeral plan.
- Contact a funeral home. They handle transport and explain your options, and they usually help order death certificates.
- Secure the home, car and pets. Lock up, collect mail, and make sure any pets are cared for.
- Tell your parent's employer if they were working, and ask about final pay and benefits.
In the first one to two weeks
- Order certified death certificates. Banks, insurers and agencies often each want one. Ask the funeral home how many families typically need.
- Find the will and any trust documents, and identify the named executor or trustee.
- Notify Social Security. The funeral home often reports the death; confirm with the Social Security Administration and ask about any survivor benefits.
- Contact life insurance companies and any employer or union benefits to start claims.
- Keep paying essential bills such as the mortgage, utilities and insurance on the home and car, until the executor sorts out the estate.
- Forward mail to the executor and watch for bills, statements and policies you didn't know about.
In the following weeks and months
- Meet with an estate attorney if there is a will to probate, significant property or questions about what to do. Rules vary by state.
- Notify banks and financial institutions. The executor will usually need a death certificate and proof of their authority.
- Contact the three credit bureaus to report the death and reduce the risk of identity theft.
- Cancel or transfer accounts: credit cards, subscriptions, phone, streaming, memberships, and the driver's license or state ID.
- Handle digital accounts: email, social media and photo storage. Many services have memorial or closure processes.
- Plan for taxes. A final income tax return is usually needed; a tax professional can advise on what applies.
- Deal with the home and belongings when you're ready. There's rarely a reason to rush this part.
Documents you'll be looking for
| Document | Why you need it |
|---|---|
| Will and trust documents | Name the executor or trustee and say how property is divided |
| Life insurance policies | Claims need the policy number and a death certificate |
| Bank, retirement and investment statements | Show which accounts exist and who the beneficiaries are |
| Deeds and vehicle titles | Needed to transfer or sell property |
| Social Security number and Medicare card | Used for notifications and benefit questions |
| Military discharge papers | May qualify your parent for veterans burial benefits |
| A list of online accounts | Helps you close or memorialize them |
Our important documents checklist explains where these usually turn up.
Keep track as you go
If you're the executor or the one handling things, a written log saves you from repeating calls and losing track of who already has a death certificate. A notebook or a shared spreadsheet is enough: note each call, each death certificate you hand over, the accounts and bills you find and the expenses you paid, and share it with a sibling or co-executor.
Named as the executor? Our executor checklist explains what an executor does, step by step, from opening probate to closing the estate.
Take care of yourself too
You don't have to do everything at once. Split tasks among siblings or friends, keep a simple log of who you've called and what they need, and ask for help. Many hospices offer grief support to families even after a death, and the funeral home can often point you to local resources.
Making this easier for your own family
Most of the hardest moments on this list come from not knowing where things are. If you'd like to spare your own family that search, write down where your documents, accounts, insurance and wishes are; our end-of-life planning checklist covers the conversations to have. If you're still caring for a parent, the Family Health Binder: Caregiver Edition ($47) keeps medicines, allergies, conditions, doctors and insurance in one binder, every page in English and Spanish. For the first minutes of an emergency, get the free ER-Ready Kit: the one-page Emergency Health Summary, the "Where should I go?" guide and interpreter wallet cards, in English and Spanish. Read this guide in Spanish.
Not sure where to start? Take the free 2-minute Readiness Score quiz.
The Ambos Health team
General information, not legal, tax or financial advice. Laws and procedures vary by state; consult an attorney or tax professional for your situation.