The call usually comes without warning: Dad fell, Mom has chest pain, an ambulance is on the way. In the hours that follow, families are asked questions they cannot answer, handed forms they do not understand, and expected to make decisions while exhausted and scared. This checklist walks through what to bring, what to ask, how to stay organized during the stay, and how to prepare for discharge, which is often the part families are least ready for.
In the first hours: what to bring
If you can, gather these before you leave for the hospital, or ask someone at the house to bring them:
- A medicine list: every prescription, over-the-counter medicine and supplement, with doses. If there is no list, bring the bottles in a bag.
- Insurance cards: Medicare, supplemental or Medicaid, and any other coverage, plus a photo ID
- Health care power of attorney and advance directive (living will), if your parent has them. Copies are fine.
- A list of doctors and the pharmacy, with phone numbers
- Allergies and major conditions, written down
- Glasses, hearing aids, dentures and their cases, labeled with your parent's name
- Phone chargers for you and your parent
- A notebook and pen
If your parent has a fridge emergency sheet or a wallet card with this information, grab it. It saves a lot of repeated questions.
Who is who on the care team
Hospitals have many people coming and going, and it is easy to lose track. Ask each person their name and role, and write it down.
| Role | What they do | Ask them about |
|---|---|---|
| Attending physician or hospitalist | The doctor in charge of care during the stay | The diagnosis, the plan, and what would need to happen before discharge |
| Nurse | Day-to-day care, medicines, changes in condition | How the day went, pain, eating, sleep, mobility |
| Case manager or discharge planner | Plans the next step after the hospital | Discharge timing, rehab, home health, equipment, insurance |
| Social worker | Support with complex family, financial or living situations | Community resources, caregiver support, difficult decisions |
| Therapists (physical, occupational, speech) | Assess mobility, daily tasks, swallowing and speech | Whether it is safe for your parent to go home and what help they need |
Ask when the medical team usually makes rounds. Being there, or on the phone, during rounds is often the best time to hear the plan and ask questions.
Questions to ask during the stay
- What is the main problem, and what are you doing about it?
- What tests are planned, and when will we hear results?
- Is my parent admitted as an inpatient, or here under observation? (This can affect what insurance covers afterward, including some care in a skilled nursing facility under Medicare.)
- Which of their usual medicines are being given, paused or changed?
- What is the expected length of stay, and what needs to happen before discharge?
- Who should the family call with questions, and what is the best time?
Older adults sometimes become more confused in the hospital than they are at home. If your parent seems more confused, sleepy or agitated than usual, tell the nurse right away. You know what is normal for them better than anyone.
Staying organized
- Choose one family spokesperson. The care team will thank you, and information stays consistent. That person can update everyone else with one group text.
- Keep a log. Write the date, time, who you talked to and what they said. It helps when shifts change and stories differ.
- Know who can receive information. Hospital staff can usually talk with family involved in care unless the patient objects, but a HIPAA authorization and a health care power of attorney make things smoother, especially if your parent cannot speak for themselves.
- Ask for an interpreter if needed. If your parent prefers another language, hospitals that accept federal funding generally must offer language assistance at no cost. A trained interpreter is better than relying on a grandchild.
- Take care of the home front. Who is feeding the pets, getting the mail, and checking that the stove is off?
Planning for discharge starts early
Discharge often happens faster than families expect, sometimes with only a few hours' notice. Start asking about it on day one. Key questions:
- Where will my parent go next: home, home with home health care, a rehabilitation facility, or a skilled nursing facility?
- What changed? Which medicines are new, stopped or at a different dose, and why?
- What warning signs mean we should call the doctor, and which mean we should call 911?
- Who do we call with questions after hours?
- Which follow-up appointments are needed, and are they already scheduled?
- Has equipment been ordered, such as a walker, shower chair or oxygen? Who delivers it?
- Are there limits on activity, driving, bathing or diet?
- Will someone need to be with my parent at home, and for how long?
Ask for the discharge instructions in writing, in the language your parent reads best, and review them with the nurse before you leave. If your parent has Medicare and you feel the discharge is too soon, ask the case manager how to appeal; Medicare patients receive a notice explaining this right.
The first week at home
- Fill new prescriptions on the way home and compare them with the old medicine bottles. Remove anything that was stopped.
- Update the written medicine list the same day
- Prepare the home: clear walkways, add night-lights, put essentials within reach
- Keep the follow-up appointment with the primary care doctor, and bring the discharge papers
- Line up help for meals, rides and personal care, even if just for a few days
- Watch for the warning signs you were given, and call early if something seems wrong
Prepare before the next call
The best time to get ready for a hospital stay is before one happens. A current medicine list, copies of insurance cards and legal documents in one place, and a short list of contacts can turn a chaotic night into a manageable one. Our caring for aging parents checklist covers those documents and how to start the conversation.
Tools to keep it all in one place
You can use this checklist on its own. If you want your parent's health information together for the hospital stay, the Family Health Binder: Caregiver Edition ($47) keeps medicines, allergies, conditions, doctors and insurance in one binder, every page in English and Spanish. To have the essentials ready for paramedics, get the free ER-Ready Kit: the one-page Emergency Health Summary, the "Where should I go?" guide and interpreter wallet cards, in English and Spanish.
The Ambos Health team
General information, not legal, financial or medical advice. In an emergency, call 911.